During childhood, a daughter needs –

1.  A mother who has a sense of her own emotional identity and uniqueness.

2.  A mother who is comfortable setting her own boundaries.

3.  A mother who has her own set of friends for support, nurturing, advice, and validation.

4.  A mother who feels in charge of and at the centre of her own life.

5.  To be allowed to experiment with different roles, interests, toys, and dress.

6.  A mother who is comfortable with her daughter and herself expressing all their feelings, including anger, without it disrupting their relationship.

During adolescence, a daughter needs to –

1.  Be encouraged to feel in control of her body and thoughts.

2.  Be encouraged to make age appropriate choices for herself, including some family decisions.

3.  Be encouraged to express her anger and frustration in a safe way, without it disrupting the relationship.

4.  View herself as succeeding in a wide variety of roles.

5.  Develop a conversation that openly critiques messages from society about the roles of women and body image.

Mothers and adult daughters need - 

1.  To have their own lives, friends, and peer group support.

2.  To understand and respect their individual uniqueness and generational differences.

3.  To respect each other’s privacy and boundaries.

4.  To take responsibility for their own emotional needs and choices.

5.  To take responsibility for their own disempowerment and low self-esteem.

6.  To feel free to share their respective truths and listen to and respect each other’s feelings, needs, boundaries, and opinions.

7.  Be free to make and learn from their mistakes.

8.  Develop a conversation that critiques and rejects society’s role expectations that are harmful to women’s emotional wellbeing and relationship with themselves and each other.